Sometimes I'm serious.

I TRIED

I tried a lot of different religions: Christianity, Catholicism, Evangelical Protestant, Baptist, Pentecostalism, Episcopalian, Orthodox, Seventh Day Adventist, The Way,

Mennonite, Unitarianism

Voodoo,  Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, Hare Krishna, Sikhism, African religions, specifically Igbo,  Scientology, Mormonism, Satanism, Paganism, Zoroastrianism, Jainism, Daoism, Deism Agnosticism, Spirituality, Starting my own faith, Atheism, Secularism, Humanism, Spiritual Humanism, Native American, Wicca, Astrology, Scientology, Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witness,  Baha’i, Aborigine, Viking, Babylonian, Egyptian,  Church of the Subgenius, and a few mock religions as well.

As long as they do no direct harm, try religions out for free.  I believe anyone who does this will come to the conclusion that none of them work for everyone.

I read a lot of books.  I listened to a lot of music.  I watched a lot of TV and movies.  I watched a lot of comedy.  I looked at a lot of art.  I read about science, history, and facts of the world.  I had sex.  I watched and played sports.  I watched and played a lot of games.  I read about and tried to create a philosophy.  I made money, lost money, and gave money.  I ate great food and a few less than great foods.  I wore plain clothes, great clothes, and no clothes.  I lived in a large house, a small apartment, and on the road.

I’ve written a lot.  I wanted to write the most important truths of the universe.  I wanted to create the most unique original ideas.  I believe I’ve had a few unique ideas.  I'm not sure if I have ever done as well at writing as I would have liked.

I’ve listened to a great deal of music.  I wanted to find the best music of all-time and create something even more beautiful. I can play better than I used to be able to.  But I doubt billions will worship me as the greatest musician of all-time any time soon.

I’m not sure what happened in the past.  I’m not sure about what’s happening now.  I’m not sure about what may happen in the future. 

Music I’ve heard: Rock, rap, pop, surf, jazz, classical, funk, soul, new wave, punk, Motown, r and b, blues, world music from every continent- except Antarctica

I’ve performed at an open mic, taken a music class, performed karaoke, played the part of a rapper, a crooner, a doo wop guy, a rocker, a drummer, a triangle player, a harmonica player, a dance instructor, a double Van Halen leg kicker, a failed rock star who can’t appropriately power slide, a total fool

Acts I’ve seen live: P-funk/George Clinton, Weird Al Yankovic, Sam Bush, Flogging Molly, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Stevie Wonder, Moby, Journey, Heart, Cheap Trick, Eamon, The Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, They Might Be Giants, The Postal Service, The B52’s, Hall and Oates, The O’Jays, Smokey Robinson, Peter Gabriel, Sting, The Cure and hopefully will see even more legends in the near future.

I wrote articles, poetry, songs, sketches and jokes that have been performed live

I’ve had sketches and jokes of mine filmed.  I’ve participated in a few comedy shoots.

I’ve performed stand-up comedy, sketch comedy, and improvisational comedy.

I made some pretty pictures.  I like my cartoons the best.

I’ve read from Wittgenstein, Russell, Sartre, Camus, Kierkegaard, Hume,Descartes, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, St. Augustine, Aquinas, Maimonides, Dewey, James, Heidegger, Derrida, Locke, Hegel, Rousseau, Voltaire, Hitchens, Harris, Dawkins, Dennet, Schopenhauer, and many more.

I’ve attempted to create my own philosophy several times.

I don't know if I have the wisdom of an admirable hero, but I'm less of a obvious fool than I used to be.

I’ve read about science, but never made a serious unique contribution to any field.

I’ve eaten food from around the world.  I’ve even learned to make a few things.

I’ve worn a bunch of different clothes.

I’ve lived in a bunch of different places.

I’ve experienced soccer, tennis, basketball, roller hockey, golf, badminton, bowling, football, tag, capture the flag, Frisbee golf, ultimate Frisbee, putt putt golf, track, air hockey, ping pong, hacky sack, hiking, climbing, archery, high ropes, and bungee slingshot, among others.  I enjoyed almost all of them.

I’ve played a bunch of games- spades, poker, hearts, euchre, solitaire, Nintendo, Tetris, F-Zero, pool, and trivia were some of my favorites.

Guitar Hero, Dance, Dance Revolution, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Apples to Apples, Monopoly, Hotels, Life, Sequence, Scattegories, Risk, Warcraft, Axis and Allies, D and D, Go Fish, Rummy, Gin, and Trivial Pursuit were all pretty fun too.

Sex- I’ve had it.

I have attempted to live according to God’s rules.

I have attempted to fit into to mainstream society.

I have attempted to live according to my own rules.

I have attempted to live for pleasure and avoid pain.

I have attempted to achieve a higher understanding of what matters most.

I have attempted to devote myself to a cause.

I have searched for answers where there do not appear to be any definite ones.

I have searched for answers in parts of life that make little to no sense.

I’ve tried being: a Mom and Pop ice cream employee, library employee, missionary, social worker, construction worker, fruit picker, vineyard post digger, thrift store worker, comedy writer, stand-up comic, musician, ticket seller, gambler, website owner, actor, director, writer, medical technician

None lasted.  I'm mostly okay with this.